Billy bush felt betrayed through Matt Lauer when bush was fired through NBC in 2016 — after i m sorry he spent months drink heavily, as well “paralyzed” to obtain off his couch and also unable to avoid crying.

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Billy shrub in Men’s HealthCeleste Sloman

In a candid interview with Men’s Health, Bush, 48, recalls being axed indigenous the “Today” present after simply two months on the job for his function in the notorious “Access Hollywood” outtake v Donald Trump from 11 year earlier.

After the tape circulated, bush was ready to apologize on-air and also believed he had Lauer’s support. Bush now claims of his then-co-anchor, “That he no fight because that me is so deep hurtful because I’ve well-known him for absolutely ever.” (Men’s wellness reports the Lauer didn’t comment.)

Bush instead learned he to be canned once he do the efforts to get a car to the airport before flying ago to new York. The driver that was expected to take him said, “Sorry, Mr. Bush. They simply canceled the car.”

Having newly separated native his wife, shrub holed increase alone in one apartment drinking too lot whiskey, the piece reports.

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Billy Bush and also Matt LauerGetty Images; Splash News

Four months into the situation, he said he told his brother, “I’m paralyzed. I can’t get off my couch. I can’t avoid crying. Ns can’t stop thinking damaging thoughts of what i would want to carry out to myself if i didn’t have children … Help.”

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Billy Bush and also Matt Lauer on “Today” in 2016NBCU photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images

He then went because that a weeklong treatment dubbed the Hoffman Process.

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Since returning to “Extra” critical year, bush says the looks back at himself in the tape and sees a “little suck-up cog,” “little suck-up Billy Bush,” “the fluffer.”

But that admits that wouldn’t execute it again differently: “I’m not going to provide a pandering answer. Ns sorry. Ns can’t,” that told writer Anna Peele.

The bush scion — who claims that before his NBC firing, “nothing bad ever occurred to me” — now realizes that “life no fair,” and also that getting canned “was crucial for my development … I necessary to have my ass handed come me.”